spread features artwork Buddha Diptych by Thomas Fuhs, USA
influence: multi-faith, yoga (devout Yogi)
Almost a Buddhist
I’m almost a Buddhist, but that’s like being a cat. You know how cats don’t go completely out the door? You’re standing there holding it open for them, and they walk halfway across the threshold, and stop. They just stand there, half in, half out. That’s what I mean when I say I’m almost a Buddhist; I’m hanging out on the threshold.
A few years ago, I lived in a trailer park on the campus of the University of California at Irvine. It seemed that the entire campus was built on an anthill. I kept a clean kitchen, but if I left out even one crumb, there would be thousands of ants marching over the countertop. They were relentless. I tried everything: I dipped string in clove oil; used baking soda; I even tried talking to the ant queen, Hey the guy next door is a slob, try him. But to no avail. They kept marching. And after a while, I just wanted to kill them.
But this was a dilemma, because Buddhists are not supposed to kill. Then one day, I came across an article written by a Buddhist priest, who was having a similar problem. He had resolved it for himself and had come to a place of spiritual resolution. Just before he killed an ant, or any insect, he would say, Better luck next time.
I started questioning the nature of the belief system that I was born into when I was about eleven or twelve. I am an only child and it was a harrowing time to have no one to talk to with all those questions in my head. It was extremely difficult because my parents told me I had to go to church with them. I found it meaningless and could not make a connection between ME and this God I was supposed to be worshipping. It made me feel very isolated and different.
— Cecelia Alphonsus, Malaysia
influence: Neale Donald Walsch, nature, Wicca, others
(original influence: Catholicism, Buddhism)